i seriously don't understand why, why.

why if i set my eyes on something, it must be followed by someone.

always that same someone.
who makes me feel like shit at times.

no,no.
it's not brainwasher.
just someone i loved. not that kind of love though.
who had changed too. just not as much as brainwasher.
this really gets on my nerves. the way you changed.the way you act now. the way your attitude speaks. the way you insult and judge me. the way you think you are always in the right. the way you love to find excuses for yourself. the way that i made sacrifices for you but yet you think nothing of it and trample all over me. the way you think i am but actually it is a reflection of yourself. the way you find that nothing actually pleases you. the way you think i am wrong, you are right. the way i set my eyes on something and that become yours, because you thought you found it first.

you know what? i don't care what you think i am. i don't soddingless what you think i was born into is like. it seriously doesn't matter now. though it used to hurt. what you think i am, is a reflection of yourself. do you know that? i guess not.
but at least you are not that bad.
you still have that compassion and that bit of that old self in you.
that's a relief.
i sincerely hope it's still there.

i don't hate that someone.
it's just that it bugs my heart.
of course, i still cherish someone.
someone still has hope.
i hope that i am just being paraniod.
and all my assumptions and what i hear and what i see are all just fiction.

maybe it's me being overly-sensitive. like i always am.
or maybe i found out who you truly are?
don't hide your feelings and grudges all the time.
maybe your pride? your over-minding of face?
that could be why you have changed.

no, this is not a result of me being emotional.
it's just that it has been tugging on my heart too long and i just want to say it out.
do not bother guessing who is someone.
you shall never know.
it is just the best if you could guessed that i am talking about you.
no, i don't hold a grudge towards you.
it''s just.. complicated.